


all of your flaws and all of my flaws (dig them up)

by peepasoo



Series: fill my little world [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First fights, lmao what a tag, turtle wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 17:58:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepasoo/pseuds/peepasoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But Eliza couldn’t focus on any of that, all she could think about was the brick wall that had seemed to form between her and Alex in the last week. He hadn’t really looked at her all night, they barely spoke besides their hellos, but here they were, sitting on the couch, his hand wrapped around hers, and it felt like she was holding a stranger’s hand. It was like that pretty pink bubble they have been floating in just popped and she realized how little she knew about him, this is a two way street she thinks, he doesn’t know hardly anything about her.</p>
<p>in which: they have their fight, two turtles get hitched, and the girls get a little drunk</p>
            </blockquote>





	all of your flaws and all of my flaws (dig them up)

**Author's Note:**

> the trash au makes a triumphent return!  
> we expand the universe a little more here which is fun, I've got some plans for these crazy kids. the groupchats (2 of them) make their first apperance as well! 'squid' is the one with everyone in it, 'sin city' is just the girls' one. 
> 
> Yikes I was too lazy to get anyone to check this so sorry for all the typos fam 
> 
> enjoy!!

 

Adrienne wants to punch herself in the face that morning, but then again, she feels like that every morning she has to get up before 9 AM on a Saturday. She still had her light blue duvet over her head and was not interested in leaving her little cocoon of warmth anytime soon.

Her and Eliza were supposed to go grocery shopping for their monthly Girls’ Night they were hosting. “Girls’ Night” is just a nice way to say they all get drunk and shit talk everyone, it’s a soul cleansing experience, really.

Three light raps on her door then, “Hey, babe, almost ready?” Eliza says way too sweetly for 8:13 AM.

“Unghhmpf” she groans from under her covers.

“I’ll take that as a ‘You bet Liza! Can’t wait!’” Eliza says

Adrienne sticks a thumb up out from her covers and Eliza closes the door behind her. She rolls out of her duvet, accepting the inevitable, and pulls on her joggers and one of Laf’s shirts. When she gets to the kitchen, Eliza’s already done with breakfast and pouring her a cup of coffee.

“I have always hated that you are a morning person, seriously who doesn’t need coffee in the morning, it’s inhuman.” Adrienne says as she unceremoniously plops down on her chair.

“Yeah, right. if i wasn’t such a morning person you’d be eating cereal every day.” Eliza says accusingly. “And you hate cereal.” she finishes.

“You got a point I do hate cereal.” she says pointing her toast at her. “So what do we need to get today?”

Eliza picks up her list, “Wine, bread, tomato paste, basil, pasta (gluten free), ice cream, wine and lettuce.”

“You said wine twice.” Adrienne says

“Oh it wasn’t a mistake.” Eliza responds without even looking up at her, she laughs.

They get to the store and they are halfway through before Adrienne gets bored. She lets her mind wander a bit. She looks over to Eliza who is just quietly staring at the tomato pastes. She doesn’t know how Eliza does it, she is so quiet and tranquil for so long. That’s not to say she doesn’t get stressed, because she does, she can get super stressed, and about simple stuff too. Like how when she wonders too much if people like her she can be a bit of a pushover, or when she sends and important email she just rambles and paces and comes up with the insane possibilities of how everything could go wrong. But somehow when really big stuff happens, she seems to be calm, just a stone wall amidst chaos, an eye in a hurricane.

Adrienne suddenly thinks these are way too deep of thoughts to be having in a grocery store, so she settles on pestering Eliza instead.

“So… how are things with Alex? It’s been what, a month?” she asks

She can see a smile creep on Eliza’ face, “Things are… good, yeah good.” she sounds a little hesitant.

“Uh oh, what is it?” she asks her

“What is what? It’s nothing!” she says shrugging her shoulders rather violently

“No, when people say, ‘it’s nothing’ that definitely means it’s something.” Adrienne say definitively.

Eliza lets out a long breath, “It’s just, we never talk.”

She is shocked by this, “What? Every time you guys are at our place you are on the couch talking, you literally never stop texting, hell he writes you love letters, Eliza. The only time you two aren’t talking is when you’re banging, and even then you guys talk!”

Eliza looks embarrassed by the last part, “Oh yeah, honey. Our walls are thin.”

“Hey! In my defense, I have to listen to you and Laf more than once!” Eliza says

Adrienne outs her arms up in mock surrender then says, “Well then, what is it?”

“We just don’t talk about the big stuff.”

“The big stuff?”

“The big stuff.”

Adrienne stops the cart in the produce isle “Okay What does that exactly mean?”

“You know, like our pasts… or our problems.” Eliza says nervously

She considers this, “Well I mean it is only the first month, maybe he doesn’t want to rush.”

“That’s the thing! He always says that he can see a future for us, and he’s never felt this way about anyone, not even John, and I don’t-” she tries to explain but Adrienne cuts her off

“He pulled the ‘future card’ and you were okay with it.” she asks

Eliza looks at her hands she has been wringing with a stupid smile on her face, “Yeah, I- I was.” she gets more confident, “Because I haven’t felt this way either, especially not with Charlie, but he won’t let me in, A. I mean I try to bring it up, but her always brushes it off.”

She puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Liza. If he truly cares about you enough to envision a future with you, he’ll open up eventually. Come on. We still need to buy wine.”

“Lots of it.” Eliza says.

“Lots indeed.” she agrees.

 

_squid_

_johnie boy_

_EVERYONE: please be advised on the 14th (next saturday) our beloved turtles Matilda and Petunia will be wed. please wear formal attire. the ceremony will begin at 2:30 PM at John, Herc, and Aaron’s place._

  _lafbaguette_

_wouldn’t miss it_

  _Alexander_

_can’t wait_

  _margarita ;)_

_!!!!_

 

_sin city_

_margarita ;)_

_did everyone get jl’s turtle wedding invite?????_

  _theo(hoe)sia_

_...yes_

  _ang_

_unfortunately_

  _adrienne~_

_yep_

_liza_

_oh yeah_

  _margarita ;)_

_that should be interesting...so we on for tonight?_

  _adrienne~_

_hell yeah_

  _margarita ;)_

_did you get the wine? ;)_

  _theo(hoe)sia_

_shut up you’re like 12_

  _margarita ;)_

_you’re no fun :(((((((((_

 

_***_

 

“So, Liza” Peggy asks from her spot on the couch next to Theo, “how are things with Alex? Is it everything you dreamed true love to be?” she clutches her chest dramatically.

Eliza rolls her eye, “Something like that Peg.” she responds from the floor. Adrienne looks at her pointedly, she shakes her head to tell her to stop. She doesn’t want to unload her petty problems on the girls, especially not with Angelica here-

“Eliza’s a little upset they haven’t talked yet.” Adrienne says, interrupting her thoughts. She puts her head on the coffee table.

“What do you mean they talk all the time?” Theo asks

“Not about the big stuff, though.” Adrienne says

“Like ‘nice neighborhoods, 2.5 kids, and white picket fences’ big stuff?” Peggy asks

“No, like their ‘Tragic Backstories’ kind of big stuff.” Adrienne says

“Oh, well it has only been a month, Eliza.” Theo says reassuringly.

Peggy adds in, “Yeah, you can’t let each other know about your dark and twisties yet.” she drunkenly giggles after.

“I guess, but I mean it just feels like he’s not letting me in. When he has problems, I want to be able to help, ya know, like ease his mind. But I can’t if he doesn’t let me know what the problems are.” Eliza says defeated.  “I just feel like i don’t really know him yet. Which is crazy because we talk about white picket fences and kids and all that, but I don’t even know his mother’s name.”

“Then ask.” Angelica says suddenly, Eliza looks at her. “What’s the worst he could say? No? Just ask, then go from there.”

Eliza looks at her gratefully, they hold each other’s gazes until the hear a sharp crash of Peggy’s wine glass on the floor.

“Peggy, I swear to God, that’s your third spill, we already demoted you to a plastic glass, the sippy cup comes next.” Theodosia say sternly, Peggy just giggles.

 

***

 

Eliza doesn’t see Alex until the next saturday, the day of the turtle wedding, he said it was something about a job he was helping his History of War professor with. Although he does text her asking if he could be his date, she says yes.

“Do you think John wants us to dress up for this?” Adrienne asks that Saturday afternoon, she’s neck deep in her closet.

“The text says, ‘please wear formal attire’ I don’t think he’s kidding.” she says from where she’s lying on Adrienne’s bed.

“Who’s fucking idea was it to get the turtles anyway? I mean it started out cute, now it’s just a problem.” Adrienne says as she rummages through her closet some more, she pulls out a knee length, short sleeve sky blue dress. “What about this?” she asks

“Perfect, now come on we have an hour before absolutely have to leave.” Eliza says.

 

***

 

The ceremony was beautiful, well as beautiful as a turtle wedding could be, they turned the kitchen table into the church, Petunia and Matilda looking adorable in their matching wedding gowns, Aaron officiated, John only cried once, so it was a success.

They all were hanging out in the guys’ living room and things were going fine. She and Alex were sharing the couch with Adrienne and Laf while Aaron and Theo took up a spot on the floor, John and Herc dragged chairs from the kitchen table so Angelica and Peggy could share the leftover loveseat. Aaron was telling this story of when John got the turtles and wouldn’t do anything but stare at them for a week. But Eliza couldn’t focus on any of that, all she could think about was the brick wall that had seemed to form between her and Alex in the last week. He hadn’t really looked at her all night, they barely spoke besides their hellos, but here they were, sitting on the couch, his hand wrapped around hers, and it felt like she was holding a stranger’s hand. It was like that pretty pink bubble they have been floating in just popped and she realized how _little_ she knew about him, _this is a two way street_ she thinks, he doesn’t know hardly anything about her. And he isn’t looking at her, she knows he can feel it too, the space that has suddenly opened between them, or maybe it was there the whole time and they just noticed it. Either way it’s suffocating her, (it’s strange she thinks, how something that isn’t there can be suffocating her) and she _needs_ to breathe or she might die.

She gets up to leave and he catches her hand and looks at her with his eyebrows knitted.

She shakes her head and says, “I’ll be right back.”

She walks out the door and down to the street and just breathes in the cold nighttime air. Her thoughts are racing around her head, threatening to take her down with them in the hurricane they are creating in her mind.

_What if I tell him who I am and he doesn’t like it, what if  he decides I’m too much to handle and leaves, just like my parents and- no. this is not about them. What if he finds out I’m not the perfect little saint he thinks I am. What if he doesn’t let me in, how could I continue with this if we weren’t completely honest with each other?_

And in the darkest corner of her mind: _what if I can’t handle his problems._ Because at the end of the day, they were just two people who have been dating for a month who barely knew anything about each other, and no amount of picket fence talk was going to change anything if they didn’t start tell each other the truth.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening, she wipes away the tears she didn’t realize were there, she knows who it is without having to turn around.

“I said I was fine, Alex.” she says

“Actually, all you said was you’d be right back.” he says a matter of factly.

“Well it was implied.” she says annoyed

He comes to stand next to her, shoulder to shoulder, he says “What’s wrong?”

She almost considers brushing him off, but that would just bring her back to square one of her problem. So she takes a shuddering breath, still not quite done crying, turns to him and says, “Think about it, really think about it, how much do we know about each other? We keep talking about our future and all this, but I don’t know where you went to middle school, you don’t know where I was born. Okay those were kind of shitty example, but you get what I mean, we can’t keep going like this if we don’t tell each other the truth. And I really want to keep going with you.” she takes a deep breath as she finishes.

He looks at his feet, she knows that he has been thinking about this too, it’s why they haven’t been seeing each other lately.

After he doesnt say anything for a while, she takes his hand, “Alex, I want to know you, and I think you want to know me too, so please, can’t we just let each other in?” she lowers he voice at that last part.

He looks up at her, she can tell he’s still unsure whether or not to let her in, she wishes he’d stop that, stop being unsure and just trust that she won’t run. But then again, a few minutes ago she wasn’t even sure she could trust him.

Before she can worry about what a mess they are he says, “I’m not sure you really know what you asking, besides things have been good, better than good even-”

“Oh you mean when we have been lying to each other?” she cuts him off

“Eliza, I think that’s a little extreme, I mean _lying-”_

“You know what Alexander, maybe it is, but if that’s what it take to get you to talk to me than-”

“I don’t think you’ll like what you hear.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t get to know, you can’t protect me from yourself”

“I’m not who you think I am, I’m-”

“Then tell me who you are, Alexander. I’m not going to run!”

He stays silent, she continues, “Did you tell John? Did he run?’

“That’s different, that’s-”

“How? How is this different from that? Is it because you think I’m this immaculate being with no flaws, well I’m not. And I don't want to admit anymore than you do, but here it is. I'm adopted, Philip Schuyler and his wife adopted me from China when I was three, probably as a publicity stunt, because the had already picked up Peggy and Angelica from Ethiopia, they are actually blood related, I'm just adopted. He was never really around, but it was fine with mom there, until she died when I was eleven. Then it was just out nanny. Angelica and Peggy were great, never made me feel like the odd one out. But you know kids are mean, and it was okay when all three of us were together, they protected me.  Then I learned just not to listen to it, but it’s still there, it always will be.” She sniffs and rubs her nose, she doesn't want to cry anymore. She looks up at him, he’s looking at the ground again, “I don't know why I even said anything.” she crosses her arms then turns away from him.

She is about to leave him on the street when he says, “I didn’t go to middle school. My mom could never afford it so she taught us herself, well until I was twelve when she died, then it was just me and my brother, our dad split from the island two years earlier. We lived with our cousin, then he died, he killed himself. Then I just started working for my mom’s old landlord, I was determined to get off that island. When I was 17 a hurricane destroyed our little town, I wrote about it, people read it, raised money so I could come here, make a name for myself or something. Now I’m here and I feel like I just have work a little bit harder to prove to everyone, I wasn’t some mistake, prove I’m more than what I came from, prove that I was worth it prove that I was worth-”

“Being with me?” she asked.

“Yeah, you were so perfect, and kind and _trusting_ , I wanted so badly to be worth that trust. I didn’t know any of what you just told me, if I did I wouldn’t have-”

“Thought I would think less of you because of where you came from?”

“Yeah, I just knew about the three perfect Schuyler sisters, I didn’t know any of that.”

They’re silent for a moment, then she says, “Okay, how about this: we tell each other the truth from now on. No more secrets or lies.”

He takes her hand and laces their fingers together, “No more secrets.”

She knows that everything isn’t cured now, they still gonna have to work to make this better. It won’t be easy, it’s gonna take work, and it’s going to take both of them wanting and trying to make it work together.

She considers briefly the chances that they could make this last, then he pulls her in for a kiss, both his hands around her waist, he tickles her sides and she laughs against his lips. She can feel him smile back before he reclaims her lips again.

And she feels pretty damn good about their odds.

**Author's Note:**

> that got angstier than originally intended, but it needed to be addressed.  
> I don't exactly know what's up next so stay tuned!
> 
> if you care the face claims for Adrienne and Theo are in the notes section of the series page!!
> 
> comment/kudos/bookmark please!! I need affirmation


End file.
